Gales of Change

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So, we didn’t get the house…as the number two bidder, there are no rewards. But something surprising happened when we discovered we didn’t get the house yesterday. I wasn’t unhappy. In fact, I was relieved that I didn’t have to move, or juggle my finances, or sign a whole bunch of paperwork. And that new set of feelings made me examine my life and take some notes.

I’ve always been a person who hates stasis…I embrace change, and often run towards it at a furious rate. I equate change with evolution, and I’m always seeking to evolve. It’s a basic cornerstone of my life philosophy. And yet….here I was in a situation where I’m craving the status quo.

It made me realize that I’ve had a ton of change over the past two years, and I might still be catching up to all my feelings and experiences logged over that time. The new job — and new network and set of work processes — have kept me busy. I moved twice, and the first time was a total flop (although the second time seems to have been quite more successful). Lots of changes, and I think my urge to embrace change is somewhat lower than normal. So…maybe we back off of the home search, and just enjoy being settled for a little while. Take a breather, and maybe some vacation time.

I can always hop back on the treadmill later this fall, right?

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One thought on “Gales of Change

  1. I can really relate to this post and the idea of letting oneself just take a breather. I just finished reading Robinson Crusoe for the first time, and it really struck me how Crusoe’s inability to change his location or to act soon after he makes a decision to act affects the evolution of his decisions and his emotions. Not that I think anyone needs to spend 30 years in involuntary hermitage (although it is sometimes tempting), but I’m thinking a lot about building that kind of mental space into my life and seeing what comes up when I let myself look without leaping.

    By the way, I’m really enjoying your blog. I appreciate the short-form posts and the amount of reflection you fit into 150 words.

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