I’ve been operating somewhere between an existential crisis and the exact opposite of one. Or perhaps the more correct statement is that every day I’m having an existential crisis, but some days I don’t have the energy to panic over it. I’ve been trying to follow a path from my “unhappy” life of my early 30’s to some tenuously envisioned future happy fate, but I seem to have hit a blind alley on the journey.
Now I’m in the process of crawling out of that deep, dark, blind space…and I have to evaluate which direction to venture. And all the time, I am questioning my ability to navigate to the envisioned utopia. Frankly, I’m not even sure what the final utopia looks like, and I suspect that there might be several versions that would work.
I’ve been accused of being very hard on myself, both in this blog and in life in general. Complicating matters, my current dead end position is making me question my competence and ability to succeed.
All I have to offer, personally and professionally, is myself.
I sure hope it’s enough.