I like to think of myself as invincible, that there’s nothing that hard work, stubbornness, and a bit of creative thinking can’t conquer. I want to have a positive outlook, feel strong and healthy, and pack my day full of meaningful activities. I’m never happier than when I have time to exercise, contribute fully to work, and spend time with friends. And in these goals, I’m sure I’m not that different from most everyone I know.
I haven’t been very invincible or strong recently. I haven’t been very positive either, and that’s leading me to feel like I have a dearth of meaningful activities in my life. I’ve been unhappy and just a little bit whiny.
I know this too will pass. I also know the source of all this angst: my health, which should be the foundation of all my invincibility. Right now, I’m fighting a battle with my arthritis and the arthritis is winning. So’s the damn sprained/broken/disabled ankle that’s keeping me even more sedentary than usual. Without good health, I’m fatigued all the time. Without mobility in the ankle, I can’t generate endorphins that make me feel invincible. Without endorphins and a strong body, my world shrinks to three basic things: work, food, and sleep.
I keep telling myself to be patient, that this flare up will pass, the ankle will heal, and I’ll find invincibility again. Gentle is the key word for today.