I mentioned last week that I shrank one of Per’s woolen sweaters, and bought him some replacements. Yesterday, the replacement sweaters arrived from Lands End…three wool blend sweaters that are the special “tall” length that are actually long enough for my 6’5″ boyfriend’s arms.
He tried them on last night after work, and the magic ensued. He was clearly thrilled with his new sweaters, and expressed excitement about having something new to wear to work. And I got the biggest smile I’d seen in ages – as he tried every one of them on and opted to wear one of them for the rest of the evening.
And it hit me…I hadn’t done anything really special for my favorite guy in over a month, and our life had become mundane. That smile is pretty special to me, and I haven’t been seeing it much. Life is short, and sweaters are cheap…I’d buy him a whole mountain of sweaters if it makes him glow. Although I’m fairly sure that trick will only work once, and I need to find something new.
My new plan for 2020: less routine harassment of Per, and more effort at targeting things that make him smile like he did last night. Because that was the best moment I had all month.
I’ve been aiming for “flow” as my 2020 theme — but flow in relationships might not be about lack of conflict, hardships, or surprises….it’s about making your partner feel loved and happy. Flow is real connection, not operational excellence. I’m inspired to do better.
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