Enemy Mine

We sabotage ourselves in so many little but consistent ways. Perhaps it’s easier to stay in bed this morning instead of going to the gym. Maybe I’ll just multi-task on this conference call instead of speaking up and saying what I’m really thinking. Arguably, the other candidate is smarter and more qualified…so maybe I won’t ask for the job.

All of these little decisions lessen our glow, and make us smaller and safer as we sit within our little boxes. The sabotage might mean that we lead a safe life, but perhaps it also means we lead a boring and somewhat unhappy one as well. And sometimes the unhappiness snowballs into true misery where people truly stop shining, and their inner spark is diminished.

How do we learn to recognize the voice and intent of the enemy, so that we can diminish their impact? How do we fan the flames of the spark within ourselves and mature it into an inferno? When do we stop making ourselves small and settling for the lesser result, and instead stand for excellence? Knowing, of course, that sometimes the inferno causes harm, and sometimes the stand can cause a fall…but that being true to oneself is the most important goal.

Enemy mine, I see you…and I’m coming for you. Beware.

Life without Limits

Gartner is a strong advocate for “no limits mindset” which is featured in most executive speeches and also was a topic of discussion today during the quarterly “Women in Sales Inspiration Call.” Usually I avoid joining such calls – since my native sarcasm gets in the way of the messaging – but I had no conflicts on my calendar this morning, and I realized that I need a little inspiration in my life.

Gartner is a complex sales cycle, so it’s taking a while to get to the “no limits” frame of mind. Customers (we call them clients) buy an intangible – such as strategy advice or market assessment – only when they become convinced that they cannot generate the same results internally and that there’s a ROI on our service. However, weighing ROI when most impacts from advice are “bad decision avoided” or “opportunity identified” is tough. It takes persistence and also a form of “sales kung fu” where you convince the customer that you’re smarter and more capable than they are within their own market.

And that’s where the “no limits” mindset comes into play. How do you build understanding, connection, and credibility to sell an intangible? Is it all Jedi mind trick? Where’s the substance outside of picking the right analyst? Is an advisory service that’s functionally a Swiss Army knife of advice something you keep in your right pocket at all times, or something you leave at home because it just clutters things up?

No limits, that’s the goal.

Coat of Many Comforts

It’s always great when you wake up before the alarm and feel energized and excited to start your day. Since those days are rare and precious, I decided to “reward” myself by wearing a comfy item on my trip into San Francisco today.

Per has a North Face hiking jacket that’s seen better days – it’s 10+ years old, has a frayed collar, a few random stains, and looks somewhat questionable…but I love it, and it’s the perfect weight for Spring.

The coat has all the basic desirable features – light weight, three convenient zippered pockets (one for cell phone, one for BART Clipper card and company badge) and a long-tabbed zipper….but the real reason I love it is driven by the fact that I swim in it. The sleeves are so long that the cuffs graze my fingertips when my arms are fully extended. The waist-length coat designed for Per drops to mid-hip on my body. the collar gapes even when fully zipped.

It makes me feel diminutive, which is a pretty rare feeling in my life. Diminutive, and cuddled, and loved from afar. It smells a bit like Per, especially after all these long years of ownership (even though I think I wear it more than he does now). It’s a small virtual hug in the middle of the day, something I can wrap my body and my troubles inside…and get lost within.

Despite its ratty appearance, I treasure the days I wear it….and I’m not even sure Per suspects that I covet his old coat. It reminds me that his love is a huge, warm, enveloping thing…just as concrete as his coat. And it’s big enough to support and protect even little old me.

Pedaling Forward

Today has been a bit of a “pause and reflect” moment. I’ve been prepping to facilitate my first Training Wheels bicycle ride tomorrow. It’s a 40 mile route that includes Mt. Eden, a route that we’ve ridden so many years in the past with this same team, and also with Awesome Ahead and Ride with Chris series. This is the first year I’ll ever ride this specific route without my friend James Camou, who died last year.

First off, I’m thoroughly sick of the route. There are much harder and more scenic climbs in the Bay Area, and even in South Bay specifically. It’s intimidating for new riders, and much too easy for experienced ones. Despite disliking the route…I ride it anyway, because I don’t do this ride for the route – I do it for my friends and “my people” who ride with us.

James, especially, was “my people.” He was a good friend who was accustomed to taking care of others, so you often had to pursue and to persist if you wanted to hear about his personal struggles. I enjoyed riding with him (at the back of the pack, sweeping as always) and using that time as an excuse to get him talking. I think he both loved and hated when I insisted on sweeping with him. I know it stressed him out, but it was also the most important connection point I had with someone I very much cherished.

I’ll miss James tomorrow, as I sweep the riders up Mt. Eden. I’ll miss asking him about his work, his hobbies, and his sweetheart Tim. I’ll miss making bad jokes to hear his chuckle. And I’ll even miss observing how much the sound of my freewheel annoyed him.

In some dimension, I hope James is pedaling forward with me…and is proud of his Training Wheels crew this year. And I pray that his list of troubles is small, knowing we all very much love him even if we’re pedaling forward without him.

Big Exhale

When was the last time you had a wonderfully productive day? The moment when you got to Inbox Zero (a mystical place!), helped a customer do something that really needed to happen, and met all your personal goals for the day? And then added frosting to the cake by having a great workout at the gym?

Yes, that was me yesterday. Finally – after weeks of feeling vaguely unproductive and fuming about it – I had the perfect day. I even got a couple of enthusiastic thank-you’s!

It’s so nice to have the validation that it’s still possible and I haven’t lost my mojo. And I found myself springing out of bed this morning, eager to get started and see if I could have yet another wonderfully productive day. I certainly want to replicate the experience regularly.

My frosting on the cake tonight? San Francisco Symphony did a flash sale last week, and we have front row BOX SEATS to see a Ravel and Britten concert. Yay! What better inspiration to work hard and celebrate hard later tonight?

Spring has Sprung

Who else but a dedicated cyclist can sport a sunburn in February? Oh yeah, someone who also swims outdoors.

It’s that time of year again, when the weather is warming up, the days are lengthening, and the sun is shining in Northern California. When I woke at 6:30 this morning, there was light in the sky. At 12:30 pm, I have all the windows open on the Bay side of the house (East side) and I’m enjoying a nice breeze. I happen to be enjoying the breeze while stuck in front of my computer – since work doesn’t stop even when the days are nice.

For all our grousing about congestion, costs, and tech bubble in the Bay Area…there are days like today that remind me that I live in a pretty awesome location. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and all the flowers are blooming. There’s also a solid coating of pollen covering my car. It’s so gorgeous that I’m tempted to chance another sunburn this afternoon post-work.

With spring comes a return of energy and positive emotions. As the days get longer, I wake earlier with the sun and I’m energized. With warmer temperatures I’m more productive during the day and less sluggish, and I need less caffeine to get activated in the mornings.

I guess it’s not surprising that thousands of years of evolution result in an uptick of energy and happiness associated with better weather and longer days. It’s time to stop hibernating and start activating!

PS – for those of you in the Cold North or Bitterly Cold Northeast, I apologize if the news of Spring is too early or depressing to you. Perhaps it’s time to come visit me in San Francisco!

Wisdom of Wonder

I’ve been thinking often about my early career, and how many close friends and wonderful experiences I had. I’ve also been contrasting that with my recent past, where I’ve found it tougher to make friends and positive adventures have been fewer and farther between. I’ve been wondering whether the world has fundamentally changed, or if it’s my mindset that’s changed.

Realistically, it’s probably a bit of both…the world has gotten more polarized, and life in San Francisco is definitely a lot more fast-paced than my early career which was spent in the Midwest. It’s also true that I’m less open to making new friends, and perhaps less open to taking risks than I once was.

I’ve been asking myself: why? Why am I more closed to friendships, and adverse to risks? Has my sarcasm turned into cynicism and fundamentally made me a less-engaged and open person as a result? And why would I not revert back to the open, wonder-filled person I was in my youth? What do I really have to lose, especially compared with all the benefits I might gain?

I think it’s time for me to undo some recent social programming that might be corrupting my happiness. I’m going to “crack the code” of wonder and receptivity to new experiences in 2020, and eschew the technical debt of the past.

Perhaps I should start by rejecting bad programming analogies and accept the wonder of the day ahead.

Unlikely Heroine

I’ve been reading a bunch of “adventure” books recently — books where crimes get solved, bad guys get stopped, and quests are undertaken. The books span genres from thrillers to fantasy, but adventure is the general theme of the day.

In most of these novels, there’s a polished hero with amazing skills. Sometimes it’s physical prowess, sometimes it’s an astute mind and occasionally it’s unmatched arcane powers. All of these heroes have flaws that the reader can identify with, that help create struggle within the story. All of them ultimately overcome their struggles and win, of course.

I’ve been considering writing an adventure story for an average human, one who has more flaws than assets. Somewhat similar to the picture above — two old, overweight women who love hanging out at the marina, but who could have a wonderful adventure. The adventure could culminate in conquering a villain with astounding arcane powers.

After all, that’s me. More flaws than assets, somewhat aging, and wanting to conquer the world. Let’s set our starting point realistically, which would make the final achievement even more sweet.

Maybe, if I am lucky, fiction can mirror life.

Shooting from the Hip

Well, it was bound to happen…I had my first “compliance chat” with a client today. As an AE at Microsoft, I got really talented at the compliance discussion — how we leverage the honor system in licensing, but we expect you to account for everything you have used and pay up at the end of the contract.

Gartner is a little different: generally, people receive value in two ways. (1) by speaking to analysts and consultants, and (2) reading Gartner research on our portal or application. Methods to violate the system are manifold: sitting in on analyst calls (most often delivered by WebEx) is easy as long as you don’t speak and the camera is on. Many Gartner clients are liberal with giving out their logins so coworkers can read and download research.

But what’s the documented value of ideas, when they’re not patented? How do you assign a license key to a discussion between individuals? And how do you police the process in a way that doesn’t shut down sincere partnership and discussion?

Unlike Microsoft, I find it’s not so easy to be a law enforcer at Gartner. Our relationships are as intangible as our intellectual property. While it’s possible to engage the lawyers and enforcers, it’s not always smart to take the direct path early in a relationship with a new account.

So I was forced to soft shoe the issue. Explain our concerns and the reasons that the current situation created harm to my company. Demonstrate understanding of my customer’s interests and needs. And then suggest we both think about what’s a fair solution, and discuss it in our next connection point in two weeks. Seeking fairness and balance isn’t always possible in the first discussion, after all…and perhaps we both needed time to pause and reflect.

Today I was reminded that shooting from the hip isn’t always the best approach, especially when you’re a firm that makes your money off of strategy and reputation.

Still Rock n Roll

“Everybody’s talkin’ ’bout the new sound
Funny, but it’s still rock and roll to me.”
– Billy Joel

And here’s the challenge: if there’s nothing new under the stars, how do we maintain an attitude of gratefulness, focus, and and excitement about the world around us? How do we approach every new challenge and interaction with energy and excitement, and minimize natural cynicism? After all, it’s human nature to simplify complexity and discard previously solved problems.

I don’t know that I have an answer, but I recognize I need to think about this conundrum more and find a new approach. There’s an opportunity to energize others and myself by reacting differently. Busy-ness and cynicism are a somewhat universal condition, but they’re only excuses or failed approaches.

It might still be rock ‘n roll, but that doesn’t mean the music can’t get you on your feet and dancing.